See, I’m one of those guys that grew up with a lot of women. At a formative age, I had a lot of women looking out for me and teaching me how to be a man, which can be a bit of a crapshoot. I had a few male roommates in college when I lived in a dorm, but I soon ended up off campus living with girls. For whatever reason, I’ve usually ended up surrounded by ladies and for the most part that’s been pretty great. But there’s a downside, too: I’ve gotten way too good at picking out a sensible but cute pair of heels and I’ve seen more episodes of “Say Yes to the Dress,” than I care to admit publicly.
And that’s why the importance of dudeliness cannot be underestimated. Men need to make their own interests a priority in their lives. Too often in this world, men are sacrificing their dudelihood to make room for other priorities in life. That’s a shame. We should be able to have it all. Take me, for example: for the most part, I’m pretty much a straight up dudely-dude. I like standard dude stuff like fighter jets, fancy watches, boobs, and butts (not in that order). But there is precious little room for such things when living among women. I have to make time for it—and that’s never an easy task.
Sure, the chicks-to-dicks ratio should ideally be heavy on the chick side out at the club or a party. Elsewhere, it’s great to get out with the guys for a bit. The battle of the sexes is always a perilous one, but it helps to have superior numbers before a bunch of Amazonian women tell you that for movie night you will be watching “The Time Traveler’s Wife.” Not if we men have anything to say about it! Oorah!
Recently, I’ve been living with a couple of other dudes, and it has been just wonderful. Other dude #1 is my Brotato Chip (the origins of that nickname begins, as it so often does, with copious amounts of Sin Fire whiskey… But that’s not important). Anyway, my brotato is a great guy to do dude stuff with like hike mountains, discuss the finer points about nice bewbs, and watch Russell Crow dismember somebody in Gladiator. And then there is dude #2, who is 4, so he is really more of tater-tot than a brotato. He’s fun too. We play Mario Kart Wii and watch Power Rangers together. He puts the moves on my girlfriend a bit more than is strictly proper, but its ok because I get to bench press him for exercise and he’s got a killer Lego set, if I ever want to play with them. And he’s got these awesome little boots that make him look like a logger. All he needs is a big bushy beard and a flannel shirt.
For the first time in a long time, there are more boys than girls living under the same roof as me. There are still a couple of ladies, but now we have the numbers to balance out the equation a little bit. Every once in a while we dudes need to get in touch with our manly side by leaving the seat up, wrestling a bear, and drinking milk straight from the jug. Stay strong, men! Don’t let women civilize you! Get your bros together, watch football, and eat rare steak. There’s still time to enjoy pinup girls, action movies, and muscle cars, if you make it a priority. If you don’t, you will likely end up holding the bags while your lady shops for cute holiday sweaters this weekend. Does that sound like the sort of manly life you want?