Hello December, let’s turn on some Christmas music and leave it on for a straight month!
I’m not complaining. Christmas music is great! It really sets the mood for the holidays. It makes it peaceful, merry, and nostalgic for your childhood. BUT—Christmas music is not like an ugly holiday sweater that anyone can throw on to make the holidays jolly. THERE ARE RULES, and not all Christmas music is created equal.
- DO—Listen to Christmas music for a solid month, non-stop (but be sure to follow the other six rules.
- DON’T—Complain about listening to Christmas music for a solid month. Oh, you hate Christmas music? Really? So, in other words you hate joy? No one really hates Christmas music; they just like having something to complain about. And the fact is, there is going to be Christmas music on in every store and every radio station and every TV. Don’t ask me to turn of my Christmas tunes because, like it or not, your going to hear a lot of it.
- DO—Listen to old-timey Christmas tunes. The best Christmas songs should be jazzy and make you feel like you are in a simpler time. The best Christmas songs are by people like Louis Armstrong, Bing Crosby, or Frank Sinatra.
- DON’T—Listen to “holiday hits” radio. Nothing sucks the greatness out of timeless Christmas songs like a reboot on a holiday album by some awful pop star. Any song that starts with someone yelling, “ALL RIGHT, let’s have a ROCKING Christmas!” is a definite no-no.
- DO—Make some exceptions to rule #3. Throw in a little Beach Boys or Trans-Siberian Orchestra to mix it up a little. Josh Groban is a good way to make Christmas really classy, too. Just be discerning in your taste.
- DON’T—Rip off holiday tunes to make commercials. This might only apply to people in advertisement agencies, but doing this kills the holiday spirit of Christmas tunes. There is nothing worse than listening to a “12 Days off Christmas” song about the 12 things to buy at Target. Songs traditionally about sleigh bells or Good King Wenceslas should not be used to sell tablet computers or Old Navy sweaters.
- DO—Listen to Christmas music while partaking in holiday traditions. Drink eggnog, decorate a tree, smooch under the mistletoe, and enjoy the holidays.