Reasons why having a puppy is EXACTLY like having a child

1. Potty training: We all cheer when a puppy poops outside or when a child uses a toilet

2. Going somewhere with them requires an immense bag of supplies: snacks, drinks, toys, etc.

3.  Bath time nightmares: It’s impossible to get them into the bath and to keep them clean.  Unless YOU are taking a shower, in which case they decide they want to join you.

4.  They sleep a lot.

5. They are fun to dress up in little outfits.

6. They are a sure-fire way to meet women.

7. They leave all their toys out.

8. Strangers will coo or say “awwwwww” whenever you walk by.

9.  Preschool is, like, a big deal: I just enrolled Lemon in the prestigious PETCO Preschool for Gifted puppies.  She sits and stays at a “puppy 2” level.

10. Snuggly time.

11. Putting things in their mouths: My puppy likes to chew small rocks, plastic bottles, and toilet paper.  If there is something they are not supposed to get into, they will get into it.

12. They dawdle when you are going somewhere.  They have lot of energy and want to play when you are tired.

13. Cosleeping is a common cultural practice.

14. They always want to help with things, but usually they just get in the way.

15. Silence is highly suspicious.

16. They grow up too fast.